Dirty Windows

I lingered at the breakfast table this morning, enjoying my coffee and the rare Michigan sun. I listened to the chatter of Mr. D and Little Miss, as they anticipated the day ahead.

I broke into their conversation, "You two need to stop drawing on my windows!"

That rare sun I had previously been enjoying, caught and magnified the artwork made by food-covered fingers. Before my negative thoughts could whisk me away to that solitary island where my work is never appreciated, God whispered, "those fingerprints will be gone soon."

I stopped. Oh Lord, You are right. My sweet children are growing up before me. The preschool toys are slowly making their way to new homes and the days of full-day school are in sight. It won't be long before they stop asking me to play with them or read to them. Too soon they will want to spend their time talking with friends instead of me. It is ok, I know that is part of the process, but God, help me appreciate this time and this moment.

"I guess it doesn't bother me that much" I said, "I like your drawings, no matter where they are." Mr. D replied, "Mom, even when I'm 18, I will still draw on your windows." I laughed, I won't let it bother me... at least for today.

My to do list won't let me sleep!

I looked at the clock, the bright red numbers glared back at me through the darkness... 4:35. I had been awake for hours tossing and turning, never finding rest. I could not shut off the voices, the worry, in my head. "Please God", I prayed, "let me sleep."

As I have mentioned before, I tend to seek perfection from myself. I want to please everyone. I want everything right. There seem to be so many tasks calling for my attention right now. So many things unfinished. Rather than picking one and getting to work, I find myself paralyzed. "If I can't do it right {perfect} I'm not going to start it."

I know this is not healthy thinking. I know I need to do the tasks God has given me and not worry about others opinions. After all, I am only trying to please Him, not myself, my husband, my kids or my friends.


And then, His Word comes to me and speaks softly, reminding me. 

Photo by Danilo Rizzuti

Photo by Danilo Rizzuti

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30

Father, help me, teach me your way. I have been trying to do things on my own again and I am not doing very well. Please give me discernment to recognize the tasks you have asked me to do and the burdens I have placed on myself. I am weary. I need you. Jesus, give me rest from my striving, Amen. 

Are 'ya new here?

Photo by Stuart Miles

"Are you new here?" As the words left my mouth I could feel the heat rise from my neck to my face. In my excitement to be helpful, I let the words escape without thinking. "Um, yes" was the hesitant response.

God has been working on me to open my eyes and really see. I know He wants me to look at the things around me instead of keeping my eyes on the sidewalk while life goes whirring past. I have been making an effort to do that, but I seem to be tripping over this new task ... just call me Grace.

We attend a VERY large church. It can be intimidating to walk in the door. I can remember the first time we attended, I felt like we had entered a maze. Nothing looked familiar, no faces stood out, I didn't have any "land" marks to tell me I was going in the right direction. The greeters and ushers were very helpful and were more than gracious to get us where we needed to go. Since then, I have tried to direct others if I sense they are new or lost.

So, as Dan and I sat in our seats one morning waiting for worship to begin, I couldn't help but overhear  the conversation that was going on directly behind us {a.k.a- eavesdropping}. The little boy was asking his parents, "where are all the kids?" I'm sure his parents were just happy to be in their seats after successfully conquering the parking lot and finding the auditorium, they had not noticed the absence of anyone under the age of 13. The family began wondering, out loud, where all the kids were. This is the point in the story where I decided to be "helpful" and stick my nose in.

I eagerly turned around, happy to help and said, "Are 'ya new here?" My tone was less than helpful and the phrase is something I say to my kids when they forget one of our set-in-stone rules. Not the best impression for a new family. I tried to recover, telling them about the great children's programs and how safe it is. They were kind and said thank you.

I turned to face forward in my seat and replayed the conversation in my head. Ugh! Nice choice of words. Nice lead in. I should have offered to walk them out to the child check-in area.

Excuse me, I think my mismatched socks are showing.

Thank you Lord that You are a God of second and third and fourth chances. This isn't easy! Please help me to be kind and welcoming. Please open my eyes to see what is happening around me. Teach me how to reach out to others with grace and mercy. Remind me to slow down and depend on your wisdom, not my own. Amen.

I don't want to!

I quit writing. I would like to tell you it is because we have been busy with the kids, finishing projects around the house and trying to enjoy the last few weeks of summer. While these things are true, I would be lying.

I came back from She Speaks with a fire in my heart, ready to take on the "new" role that God had prepared for me. Somewhere along the way busyness took over and I stopped doing the things that keep my focus on Jesus. I started pouting. Stubbornness set in and my attitude went right down the drain.

I found myself thinking, "this is not the ministry I had in mind. I will do whatever you want God, but not this. When I said 'yes' I was imagining something more glamorous."

This "new" role that God gave me, looked suspiciously like the old role I had been filling for so long. He was calling me to be a wife and mother, to focus on my ministry within my family.

Similar to the way I hide vegetables in meals, so that my kids eat more, I felt like my Father tricked me.

Haven't I been doing this for years?

As my kids head back to school, I head back to Bible Study. In years past, I knew well ahead of time which study I was going to take. I would eagerly sign up, purchase the book needed and then count the days until my Tuesday morning time with friends. Recently, it came time to register for our fall study and I delayed registering. I knew where God was calling me and I was ignoring Him.

Last year, our church started a new group called MP3, it is geared towards mothers of school aged children. I didn't sign up for it, thinking Tuesday morning was my time to get away from home, to learn and be filled. I didn't want to talk about motherhood. I wanted to learn about the Bible. This summer, I realized that this is exactly the way God wanted me to go, and I didn't like it. My pride got in the way and told me I was giving up something that had always been mine.

I didn't register. I didn't open my Bible. I stopped turning on praise and worship music. I quit writing.

My best friend, Gidget, knew something was up. She recognized my isolating and feet-dragging for what it was. "Quit thinking and jump, it is going to be great," she counseled. "God has gone ahead of you. He is already there. He is asking you to join Him." I knew she was right, but I didn't want to hear the Truth.

Yet, here I am, writing. Gidget and I joke, that so often we get a great idea for a blog post and then during the writing process, we realize that God is trying to teach us something.

God uses my writing as a way to speak Truth into my life. This morning, I think back to the scriptures He gave me to memorize in the last few weeks, and the irony is not lost.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing.  -Philippians 2:14 (NIV)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Memorization is easy. Application, not so much.

My problem... I have been focused on myself, not on things above. I have been focused on my feelings and my desires instead of Him. I have been focused on what I can't do instead of what He can do. Me. Me. Me. Always a bad place!

God not my will but Yours. I mean it this time. Please give me the desires of my heart so that they align with Your desires. The place I have gone is lonely and not fun. Please forgive my pride and stubbornness. Help me get back on track. I don't want to go anywhere that you are not. Amen.


Psalm 37:4, Isaiah 30:21, Exodus 33:15

Be Still

"Momma, I can't sleep." It was his third visit to my reading chair since I put him to bed a minute ago. "Let's go," I said. I stood and ushered him back to his room.

"Be still," they were the only words I spoke as I re-tucked blankets and re-rubbed his back.

Sitting in the silence of his room, my worries from the day came quicker than his sleep.



Isn't that what my Father says too?

“Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10a

Always so much easier to say than do.


He is God, able to do abundantly more than I can ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20) and yet there are days I am captive to my thoughts and doubts. There are days I am unable to accomplish anything because everything is too big.

Why can't I just be still for a moment and turn to Him, the One who can?

Why won't I surrender and say "it is not through my power, but through Your's"?

Why don't I know that He is God?

Be still and know.

Father God, thank you for reminding me you are always with me. Please teach me to be still and remember that you are in control. Help me to know that you are abundantly able to do all things. In Jesus Precious Name, Amen.

Keep your karma. I'll stick to farming!

The word karma has been in my mind lately. I don’t know why God brought it to my attention, but He has. I decided to look it up. One definition that I found stated: Karma is the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person’s deeds in the previous incarnation. Karma is part of Hinduism and Buddhism. This is not Biblical!

The basic idea of karma is: what you do will eventually come back to you. Hmmm... sounds familiar!

A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7

Reaping and sowing is a farming concept. Farming 101: if you plant wheat, wheat will grow. You wouldn’t sow wheat expecting to reap corn. That would be ridiculous and miraculous!

God uses this concept throughout His word. Job 4:8 says, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. 

I can’t think of a better real life example from the Bible, than Jacob.  Rebekah and Jacob decide they want Jacob to get the blessings of the firstborn. Even though the blessing had already been promised to Jacob, by God (Gen 25:23), Rebekah and Jacob resorted to deception in order to secure the desired position and the benefits that accompany it. Jacob deserves a little credit as he initially questions his mom’s idea. But, it doesn’t take much for him to be persuaded to go along with the trickery.

The plan succeeds in deceiving Isaac and securing the firstborn blessing for the wrong child. This is where things start going downhill for Jacob. There are several repercussions to this act of trickery. To begin with, the firstborn learns about the trick and begins plotting to kill his brother. Out of fear, Rebekah sends Jacob to live with his uncle. This is the last time mother and son will see each other. Jacob is then deceived, in a similar way, by his father-in-law.

As Jacob painfully learns, sowing deception will reap more deception. 

As a mom, I will be honest, I wonder what Rebekah was thinking. It is so far from the concept that I try to teach our children: treat others the way you want to be treated. It goes right along with reaping and sowing. If you are kind you will reap kindness. If you are giving you will reap blessings. If you love others, you will reap love.

It isn’t always easy to do the right thing. Sometimes our feelings get hurt and we want to retaliate. Sometimes things aren’t going our way and there is a chance to step in and steal the blessings that belong to someone else. Sometimes we follow the crowd rather than doing the right thing and standing apart. Sowing goodness and righteousness isn’t always the easiest route. 

Thank God that we have Jesus! Even when we mess up and sow the wrong seeds, Jesus is there. When we confess that we made a mistake, God is faithful to forgive us and help us through the harvest. He can’t change the seeds we have sown, but He will not let us go through the reaping alone.

Thank you God for teaching me the right way to live. I confess that I am stubborn and don’t always think about the seeds that I am planting. Thank you for being faithful and patient with me as I learn Your ways. Help me to slow down and think before I plant. I want to be more like Jesus. I want to sow encouragement, hope, goodness and love into the lives of others. Please help me to nurture the good seeds that you have already planted. Please give me discernment to see the bad seeds and get rid of them before they take root. All of this I ask in Jesus name. Amen.

Hugs,

Lynnette

In Sickness and In Health

Photographer: Arvind Balaraman

This last week has been draining. My little one has been sick. As every mom knows, when one of yours is sick, Mom's life is put on hold. My days were spent, cuddling (which I love), taking temperatures, dispensing medicine, calling doctors, going to doctors appointments, changing sheets and dirty clothing (which I don't love) and praying. My nights were similar. I didn't sleep well as I listened for little voices, coughs and sneezes. I spent time on the floor next to the bed holding a cool cloth on his forehead, soothing him and praying for healing.

As I was doing my Bible study this weekend, I identified with an unusual character: Abraham's servant (Genesis 24). We don't know much about this man, as a matter of fact, we don't even know his name. We do learn, however, that he was very dedicated to Abraham. When Abraham had an important errand, he called on his oldest [longest employed] servant. The servant put everything else aside so that he could go and find a wife for his master. I recognize that it is easier to do the right thing when his master was there, but in verse 33, we learn that the servant, again, put his master's needs ahead of his own. This servant was a man of character.

It is difficult to continually give of ourselves. It goes against our nature to put others needs ahead of our own. As my second child started showing signs of the same illness, I started to feel resentful. I had already spent a week waiting on one child. All of my work had suffered as my schedule (and sleep) revolved around getting my child healthy. Now another one?

How did Abraham's servant continue to give?

In verse 12, I learned the secret to his success. He prayed. Although his words seem to suggest that he did not believe in God, his prayer language actually reinforces the respect that he has for Abraham. When God answers his request, the servant stopped and worshiped God (verse 26). The servant recognized that God was the reason for his success. Someone who is living through the faith of someone else would not take the time to recognize or worship the giver of the gift.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:7-8,19


Author Erin Smalley said it best. "You and I cannot generate a single drop of love. It all comes from God. By receiving God, we receive His love. We can then open our hearts and share love with others. Loving feels good to us, but we are just passing on what we've received from God."

Being a servant to someone else is the best way of loving them and expressing the love that God gave us.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. - Galatians 5:13

I will continue today to love a second child back to health. I cannot do it alone, however. I will pray and worship the one who has enabled me to love.

Thank you Lord, for teaching me through the most unlikely person. You are so faithful in meeting my needs even before I realize what is needed. Thank you for loving me and teaching me to love. Thank you for sending your Son to serve us even when we were not worthy of His service. Amen.

He Always Has a Plan

Photographer: anankkml

God’s Word is full of His promises and plans for His people. We don’t have to search very long to find a promise for all of us or a specific plan for a specific person and the details of how the plan worked out. In today’s reading, we learn about the objective that God had for Abram’s life.

Genesis 12:2-3
“I will make you into a great nation,
   and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
   and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
   and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
   will be blessed through you.”

God had a specific plan for Abram. God shared the plan with Abram and promised to watch out for him. As Abram went forward, we learn that he was worshipping God and staying in relationship with Him. However, when Abram and Sarai went to Egypt, fear took over, and Abram quickly forgot that God was with him. Rather than trusting God, Abram took the situation into his own hands and decided to lie to the Pharaoh. The result was that the Pharaoh discovered the lie and kicked Abram and his entire entourage out of Egypt. The MacArthur Bible Commentary suggests that this must have looked bad to his servants and probably resulted in a loss of integrity for Abram.

After reading this passage, I began thinking about my life and my own walk with God. How many times has God made plans for me, but instead of waiting on Him, I walked ahead with my own “better ideas” of how things should go. How many times have I questioned whether God was going to come through for me and I decided I needed to take things into my own hands. What was the end result? Instead of following His perfect plan, I got in the way and ended up looking foolish and unfaithful.

In the second part of the reading today, we learn about another of God’s plans. In Matthew 4: 1-11, we learn about Jesus being in the desert. Jesus was fasting and seeking God before he began his ministry. The devil showed up and began to tempt Jesus. Where Abram failed, Jesus succeeded. During that 40 days, Jesus trusted God with His provision and protection. When the devil came and tempted him, Jesus knew God’s word he was able to resist the devil’s schemes. By remaining strong in who God created him to be, Jesus was able to fulfill God’s ultimate plan. If Jesus had fallen to temptation there in the desert, he would not have been able to go to the cross in order  to save us. 

How can I apply this to my life? I am not always successful at resisting temptation. There are times that I don’t rely on Him, I try to do things through my own strength and end up falling to temptation. During these times of sin, I am not following God’s perfect plan for my life. What am I ultimately missing out on?

I can’t help but think of: 

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
      And He shall direct your paths. 

How much further would I go by remembering this during everyday life? His ways are so much higher than my own. He only wants the best for me. His plan is perfect. If I trust in Him, my path will be made straight.

Heather has been talking with us about God’s plan for us for 2011. His plan is good and I don’t want to miss out on any part of it.

Heavenly Father, thank you for creating a plan specifically for me. You are so faithful to keep walking with me even when I am not at my best. I confess that I am prideful and stubborn sometimes when I should be trusting and following you. I don’t want to live in your permissive will for my life, I want to live out your perfect will for my life. I don’t want to get in your way anymore. Please open my ears to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and teach me to submit to your ways. I want to live like your Son, Jesus. Amen.

Hugs,

Lynnette

Christmas Torrent

I have a confession to make. I got completely caught up in the Christmas Craze today. I was not a very good follower of Jesus and I set a terrible example for my young children. I started the day by oversleeping. I didn’t get my shower, coffee and quiet time with Jesus before my kids woke up. That always makes me grumpy. From there, I set out to conquer my overwhelming to-do list. I spent the day doing things I really didn’t want to do.

Every year, I tell myself that I am going to be more organized. That I am going to get my shopping done early and get my Christmas cards mailed more than two weeks before Christmas. It didn’t happen this year. I was frantically trying to find the perfect family picture, just this morning, so that I could order the cards and get them addressed today. Yep, days before Christmas.

After some toppling issues, I put the finishing touches on our tree today. I was able to put away the ornament boxes and vacuum up the pine needles that stick to everything. Finally, the house was looking festive rather than trashed.

In the midst of the chaos of laundry, decorating and addressing cards, I did manage to referee several disputes between my kids. The arguments varied depending on the toy they were playing with (fighting over). But, it was mostly tattling and finger pointing mixed with grabbing and yelling.

These are not the scenes I imagine when I dream of Christmas. The Christmas in my mind looks more like a Norman Rockwell painting. Our family happily decorates the tree together, plays board games and sips hot cocoa filled with marshmallows. We would read Christmas stories before bed and enjoy cuddle time at the end of a day filled with happy memories.

Where did it all go wrong? I know that I set the tone this morning and I was definitely off-key. I started down the wrong path and then, shared my sourness with my beautiful children.

Something in the reading for today caught my eye though. 

Revelation 12:15, Then from his mouth the serpent spewed water like a river, to overtake the woman and sweep her away with the torrent. 

Oh, Dear Lord, this was me today. I couldn’t get a foothold. My to-do list crashed over my head and the undertow of the days events caused me to somersault and prevented me from finding which way was up.

There was something else that caught my eye though, the woman was overtaken by the water spewed from the serpents mouth.

What lies was I hearing and believing today? There were things I did today because I thought I needed to. My kids don’t really care whether I send out Christmas cards. I didn’t really need to put that last string of lights outside. That was my choice, and to be honest, it was more of a pride issue than anything else. 

In the last few years, our family has done a better job of cutting back on our gifts and sharing with others who may not be as fortunate. Today, though, I lost sight of what this season is really about.

Now that I reflect on the ugliness of the day, God tried to help me up and I didn’t hear Him. As we were walking in to pick up the last minute cards, my five year old said, “Mom, Christmas is really all about Jesus. It is his birthday and we all get to celebrate it.” I wasn’t really listening. “That’s right”, I said. “If it weren’t for Jesus, we wouldn’t be celebrating Christmas.”

Lord, I confess that, today I was not all that you created me to be. I’m sorry for not spending time with you this morning. I didn’t give you authority over my to-do list. Instead, I took it on myself, wrongly thinking I could do it alone. I’m sorry for being stubborn and prideful. Please forgive me. I want to do better, God, for you, for my family and for me. Teach me how to celebrate Christmas your way, Father. Show me what is truly important and help me to release the things that really don’t matter. Thank you for sending your son, Jesus, to save me from my sins. I want to live my life for you and shine your light in this world, today and everyday. Amen.

Hugs,

Lynnette

Lessons from the Lions Den

Daniel was a good man. He sought God and obeyed His commands. God had a plan for Daniel. King Belshazzar needed information and none of the wise men in his courts could help him. Someone suggested Daniel. Daniel was brought to the king, and by seeking God, Daniel was able to provide the information the king desired. From that moment, he continued to do well within the courts. He impressed the king’s successor and became even more successful.

Daniel was thriving in his work! In that time and in our time, success often comes with a target for you to wear. Daniel entered his “first lion’s den”. The other people in his “office” became jealous.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 

There was talk of promotion and that did not sit well with the others. They decided that Daniel had to go. They watched every move he made in order to catch him doing something illegal or to compromise his character. They found nothing. Daniel was a person of integrity.

The coworkers decided the only thing that would cause Daniel to fall would be his dedication to God. The administrators went to the king and encouraged him to make a new law. The law stated that for the next 30 days people should only pray to the king. Anyone caught disobeying this law would be thrown to the lions.

Daniel knew about this new law. But, he was dedicated to God. He continued the Jewish practice of praying three specific times throughout the day. He did not hide his prayer or his beliefs, he continued just as he always had. I believe that Daniel feared God more than he feared man. He did not compromise who he was even with the possibility of death hanging over him.

The authorities reported to the king that Daniel was continuing his daily prayer times. The king liked Daniel and did not want him to be killed. The king tried to find a loophole, but he could not. So, with more pressure from the coworkers, the king sent for Daniel. They threw Daniel into the lions den and as the den was closed the king said, “May your God, whom you serve continually rescue you!” The king did not like that he had sealed the fate of a good man.

At first light, the king rushed to the lion’s den to see if Daniel had made it through the night. Daniel was alive! All of the glory belonged to God. God rewarded Daniel’s dedication and character. The king sent for the men who had wrongly accused Daniel, they were killed. The king also issued a new law that everyone in the kingdom should “fear and reverence the God of Daniel”.

In his time, Daniel was a captive, a prisoner, but today he was my teacher. There are so many things I can learn from Daniel.

Jealousy is an ugly thing! It makes us act and behave ugly. It makes us say things we wish we hadn’t. It makes us do things we often regret. Jealousy is not of God. It is human nature and it is difficult to fight that nature alone.

I need to work on being happy for others when they are blessed or when they are successful. By seeking God, I will be filled with the Holy Spirit and the fruit that He provides. When I am filled with His love, I can love others and honestly share in their success.

In the face of adversity Daniel did not compromise his character. Integrity is a beautiful thing! It is refreshing to see someone so faithful to God that he is willing to put his life in jeopardy rather than stop worshipping Him.

I need to work on being true to who I am in Jesus. He has changed me for the better. I am not perfect and I won’t be as long as I am on Earth, but I am better with Him than I am without Him.

In a world full of lies and deceit it is easy to get caught up in all of it. It is often easier to pretend I am someone else rather than risk being looked at as a “Jesus freak”. It is often easier to go along with the crowd rather than stand up and say, “These are my beliefs and I will follow them at any cost”.

I need to work on being more afraid of God than of people. I doesn’t matter if I lose my social standing or the worldly image that others want to see. What truly matters is that I am seeking Him first.

Watch out that you do not lose what you have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. 2 John 1:8 

Lord, I thank you for providing such great examples in Your Word. I praise you that an event from 2600 years ago is still applicable to my life. Only you could accomplish such a magnificent feat. Thank you for teaching me lessons that bring me closer to you and closer to the plan that you have prepared for me. Please help me to become a person of integrity who is dedicated to you and not ashamed to say “I love my God and will follow Him at any cost”. In Jesus precious name. Amen. 

Hugs,

Lynnette

Your Tally Sheet Has Been Erased

I have messed up! A couple of times in the last week, I have really made some mistakes. These are not major life changing mistakes (although, I've made those too). These are just general human errors. It is just me, moving too quickly, not slowing down to think. Unfortunately, these mistakes affected other people. I don't worry about it too much when it is just me, but when I catch other people in my whirlwind, I feel bad.

When my husband and I first got married, I used to be very good at keeping score. Not with Monopoly or Backgammon, but, with transgressions. In my head, I had a little note pad with tally marks. Every time my husband messed up, I would add another tally. They were even categorized by major and minor infractions. I would save these lists and use them as ammunition in arguments whenever I needed them.

As I started walking with God, this score keeping became more uncomfortable for me.

Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Ouch! That one stings a little. But, God knows what is best for us at all times.

I am happy to say, I have gotten better about this. I have to be very conscious of forgiving mistakes as soon as they happen. It is very easy for my old thinking to sneak back up and get the tally sheet ready. Sometimes I even need to say out loud to myself "I am not keeping score. I have forgiven that offense."

Why should we forgive others of their errors? For one thing, we are all human. We all make mistakes. It is part of living. No one is perfect. The second reason, and probably the most important reason, is we are forgiven.

Psalm 103:12 

as far as the east is from the west, 

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Have you ever thought about that? Last year, they were talking about this scripture on the radio and I haven't forgotten it! If you are travel North around the earth, eventually, you would be going South. If you start traveling East around the earth you will always be heading East. This was such a great visual for me. God has removed my mistakes and I will never be near them again!

God has forgiven us of so many transgressions and He is not done. We make mistakes everyday and if we are faithful in confessing them, He is faithful in removing them from us. Every one is forgiven! It is comforting to know we have a loving Father that forgives every error whether it is big or small.

I want to be just like Him when I grow up!


Lord, thank you for forgiving all of my mistakes. You are so loving, kind and full of mercy. Please teach me how to be like you. Help me not keep record of the transgressions that are made against me. Help me not keep record of my own mistakes. Show me how to forgive the way I have been forgiven. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Zig Zag Prayer

In my journey with God, I can look back through my journals and see different seasons that I have lived through. At times, I could not get enough of the Bible. The only thing I wanted to read was the actual word of God. At other times, I wanted to read and do Bible studies. I couldn’t get enough knowledge about Christianity or various topics. At other times, I seemed more focused on worship. Right now, I seem to be moving into a time of concentrated prayer.

I used to think I needed to do it all really well. That I shouldn’t focus on one thing and let other aspects take a back seat for awhile. I felt guilty for not sticking to a routine that included the same amount of worship, study, scripture and prayer everyday. I’m not so sure that my ideas were correct. Thinking about it now, it seems very legalistic. I know we should not take that approach when we are building a relationship with anyone, let alone a relationship with God.

Looking back over those times more closely, I think that God was leading me to different books, scripture or music. He knew exactly what I was going to need for that portion of my journey. He was always there ahead of me waiting to fulfill the need before I even knew it existed. I think that it is important to follow our instincts when we feel a need in our spirit.

A friend in my Bible Study group is a professional organizer. Recently, she used a term that got our attention. Zig-Zag organizing is basically when you move from one thing to the next without completing a task. It is not really effective or efficient. Since she mentioned it, I have been very aware of my habits. I must be a zig-zag thinker! Almost everything I do, involves zigging and zagging and very little completing.

This morning, I started thinking about how I can make my prayer life more effective and efficient to overcome the dreaded zig-zag syndrome. I have several prayer request lists and books (by Stormie Omartian) that I would like to read daily. I decided that I would make my own book that would combine all of these lists and prayer guides into one. Each day of the month I will pray specifically for my husband, my kids and myself along with prayer requests I may receive.

Prayer is such an important aspect of our walk with God. Sometimes though, I overcomplicate it. God doesn’t care if I use big words. He isn’t impressed by a well thought out eloquent prayer. He just wants to hear from His child.

James 5: 13-16 

The Prayer of Faith

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Lord, I thank you for your son, Jesus. Without him, I would not be able to come to your feet in prayer. I love your guidance and the wisdom that you have given me in your perfect timing. Teach me to be an effective prayer warrior. I want to be your partner in changing the world on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.  

Mulligan Anyone?

My husband gets up before the sun and is gone before I have even rolled over. Today, however, his schedule is different. I am in the bathroom getting ready and my dear husband comes in to brush his teeth. We don't usually have these morning bathroom meetings. I am instantly irritated. He moves in front of me to reach for the medicine cabinet. I smile (not so sweetly) and move to the side. In my mind: really? why does he have to be in here now? ugh! how many times does he have to open and close the cabinet? I am using that mirror!

After brushing his teeth, he says goodbye and gives me a kiss. I am anything but nice as I offer my cheek and respond with a "bye". And then he is gone. I am alone again with my thoughts. Why did I do that? He was only in here for two minutes and I couldn't be gracious and share?

I am reminded of my kids fighting over the sink, pushing each other off of the step stool. "I was here first," one of them shouts and someone usually ends up crying. I step in to play referee. "Be nice, take turns, you can share" I tell them. Easy to say and not always easy to do.

I am reminded of Paul. Why do I do the things I hate to do and not the things I want to do? (Romans 7:15) That is not really the way I want to send my husband into the world for the day. I don't want his last interaction with me to be filled with irritation and attitude. He needs to know that I love him, that I am here for him and that I am willing to be his partner in whatever life brings. Even if that means sharing the bathroom.

I run to the kitchen where he is gathering his belongings to take to the car . I give him a pat. He stands up and looks at me confused. I throw my arms around him and give him a kiss. This one is filled with love and hope. He looks at me even more confused now. "What was that for?" He asked. "I just wanted you to know I love you," I stated.

We all need a mulligan from time to time. Maybe we are short with a response. Maybe words spoken are not filled with love and grace. Maybe we lose our temper. Maybe we are angry about a situation and take it out on an innocent bystander. Maybe we think we are right.

Photo by Bill Longshaw

We can have a do-over. When we find ourselves in this situation, we can immediately say "wait, that isn't what I meant". "Let me try that again."

How much better would our world be?

How much better would our marriage be?

How much better would our parenting be?

Lord, thank you for always knowing the kindest way to talk to us. Thank you for sending your son to be an example for us. Please teach me how to interact the way that Jesus did. I want my conversations to be full of grace and seasoned with salt, so that I know how to talk with everyone (Col 4:6). Please help me overcome any stronghold of pride that would keep me from admitting my mistakes and trying again. I want to shine your light in the world today. Amen.

Buried Treasure

You never know when God is going to show up. Earlier this week, I was mindlessly going about my morning routine. I pulled the basket out of the coffee pot to throw away the old grounds, and then opened the cupboard to pull out the garbage can. I was caught of guard. First, there was a fresh garbage bag, which doesn't often happen. We play the game of garbage balancing in our home. You may be familiar with this game, the rules are simple, just put your garbage on top and if it topples over, you have to take out the trash. But, second, in the bottom of the can was a little treasure!

My daughter is in first grade this year. She is really enjoying reading and writing. She has truly found freedom and fulfillment in sounding out words, putting sentences together and then drawing pictures to go with them. She spends most of her free time making books or writing stories. The treasure that I found in the garbage belonged to her. I garbage picked it!

The words weren't spelled correctly and usually, I can sound it out to understand what she is writing, but this time I couldn't do it. I got most of it, but not the whole thing. I set it aside, in a prominent place, so that I could be sure to ask about it later.

The morning routine was crazy, I didn't have a spare minute to talk with her about it. I needed more than just a quick answer, I wanted to have a conversation with her. It stayed on top of the microwave for the day. Every time I walked past, I looked at it and tried to unscramble the message. Similar to a puzzle that you can't walk away from, it was in the back of my mind all day. I couldn't wait until she got home. 

After she had a few minutes to unwind from the busyness of the day, I picked up the piece of paper, handed it to her and asked her to read it to me. 

"I follow my heart. Step, by step, by step. You will make it right for me." 

"Did you hear that somewhere?" I asked. 

"No" she replied, "I was just writing a song, and I made it up." 

My next question,"why did you throw it away?"

"I messed up", she said sadly. 

Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless. Daniel 11:35

I was silenced. Her words were so simple and yet, so true. How many times have we been following God along the path and we mess up. We don't know how to undo what we have done so instead, we throw it away.

Again I ask: Did they stumble so as to fall beyond recovery? Not at all! Romans 11:11a

I made my request. "Can I have this?"

"Sure." Pause.  "Why?" She wondered.

"I like it. I want to write about it. Is that okay?"

"Yes", she smiled.

though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:24

God placed it on my heart to use this as a teachable moment. "You know, God loves us all the time. Even when we mess up. There is nothing we can do to make Him stop loving us. If we apologize and ask Him for forgiveness, He always forgives us."

"I know, Mom", she said. As she rolled her eyes and walked away.

I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. Prov 4:11

I could have taken offense, but I didn't. She heard me. It will be there when she needs it most.

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov 3:6

Father, I praise you for your goodness, favor and mercy. Thank you for loving me so perfectly. I know that I am human and I am going to make mistakes. But, I also know that you forgive every one of them. I am grateful for your wisdom, guidance, knowledge and for all of the times you have picked me up and put me back on your perfect path. Amen.

My Story

I have had three people within the last week mention "your story" or "your testimony". Around here, we call that an echo from God. Perhaps He is trying to tell me something!

Until yesterday, I didn't think I had a testimony. It seems silly now, but there wasn't a big life changing experience or a flash of lightning. After some reflection, I don't think that testimonies have to be that way. Some are big and exciting and "flashy" and then there is the rest of us. Normal everyday people. With normal everyday stories.

I was raised in the church by Christian parents. We went to church most Sunday's (unless someone was sick or we were out of town) and Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. In High School, I joined the Youth Group and got very involved there with activities and work/mission trips. Then college... I didn't do as well. I didn't completely walk away from God, but I am pretty sure I didn't follow the path that He had planned for me. Looking back, I know that God was with me even though I wasn't seeking Him. He put people in my life that were strong Christians and they were a good influence on me when everything else was so bad. I tried attending church there and did a few times, but it never became habit and it was so easy to just sleep in.

After college, I moved back home. I went back to church with my family and was welcomed with open arms and even taught Confirmation that year. Shortly after moving home, I met my husband and while we were dating, we often attended church. Either his or mine. Looking back at that time, I see now that I still wasn't following God. I did my best and fooled a lot of people including myself. Maybe it wasn't fooling, but ignorance on my part. 

Life went on. I went to church on Sunday and I did my own thing the rest of the week. I thought that was enough. I had the label "Christian". I had accepted Jesus. I knew right from wrong (in my own mind). I tried to be a good person, helping others, not stealing or killing. What more was there? 

This season lasted about seven years. During that time, I almost completely quit going to church. Things did not really start to change until I was trying to get pregnant for the first time. Typical of the season I was in, I didn't turn to God until I needed Him. I was fine on my own, until a crisis appeared. Then, I treated God like my personal Genie. I went through tests and took fertility medication, until I couldn't live with the side effects any longer. A month later, I was pregnant. I would like to say that I had turned to God and said, "You are bigger and You know what is best. I surrender my life to you."  But, I didn't. I thanked God and moved on. 

But, I began thinking (or rather, God placed it on my heart and I finally started to listen) that I needed more.  I wanted my child to have a good foundation. I wanted to give my baby the good morals that I had been given. In my heart, I knew there was something to the "whole church thing", I just didn't know what it was. I began "church shopping". I tried several local churches and decided on the one that was the most comfortable. I got involved with the Children's ministry and made some great friends. We stayed there for almost three years, until the church changed and I no longer felt comfortable. I took a step back to analyze the changes.

On Thanksgiving morning of 2008, I was getting ready to go to dinner at my parents house. I had the TV on for news and background noise. Joyce Meyer came on and that is when things really changed for me. I don't remember what she said exactly, but I was at that point I realized there was something more to church than "religion". That was the turning point for me, I began to find my own faith. For so long, I was living on what my parents said or the way they raised me. It wasn't until I really started doing it for me that I was able to understand what so many others already had and what God wants for all of us. I began to read my Bible, although I didn't understand it, and we found a new church. 

The new church has made a huge difference. I am really being fed the word! I didn't realize how hungry I was until I heard someone who really spoke to me. I also joined a women's Bible study. That has been a big step for me and really encouraged me in my daily walk. I enjoy reading the Bible and reading books that take me deeper in the word. I love being around Christian women who share the same values and beliefs that I do. I miss it when I am not there and have made it a priority in my schedule.

Everyday, I work at being more open about my faith and my Savior. Throughout my life, I hid my faith and beliefs (and still do to some extent) from others out of fear of rejection. What I didn't understand is that our choices are either good or bad. So, fear of rejection from people caused me to reject God. I should have feared Him more than people. I am getting better at it, and stepping out on faith more than ever before. I am trying to be open with my children, so that they will learn that God's opinion is much more important than people's opinion. I am trying to teach them that their faith is not something to hide or be ashamed of. As the women of my Bible studies have taught me, it is in the sharing that we grow.

Those who have known me for a while can appreciate that this blog was a big, scary step. I don't really know where this is all going- meaning the blog. I just felt like this was the direction that He was leading me. I have never been a writer, but it seems like He is using me for something. My wonderful and supportive Mom recently told me, "you don't need to know why, you just need to obey and trust in Him who always knows".

That is the cool thing about God! He is not normal or everyday. He is creative and exciting and unexpected. When we follow Him, our lives are that way too. Looking back, I see that His fingerprints are all over my life! This is not really my story it is our story.

1 Kings 19:11-12 (New Living Translation)

 ¹¹ “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.

Lord, I am a sinner. On my own, I am not good enough to come into your presence. I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins. I believe that he rose and ascended into heaven. Through my belief in Jesus I am able to come to you at the throne. Thank you Abba, that you were faithful when I was fickle. Thank you for pursuing me when I turned away. Thank you for loving me when I was unloveable. Amen.