Where are you?

My heart was pounding and terrible thoughts began tormenting me. My son was missing. Minutes before, I had sent him to his room for bullying his older sister. She isn't always innocent, but this time she was minding her own business and he stepped in being mean. 

"Go to your room and come back when you are ready to be kind," I ordered. This punishment usually doesn't last long. He typically returns within moments. But after 20 minutes, I was suddenly aware of the quiet. Every mom knows that silence means trouble. 

I went searching for him and slowly opened his bedroom door in hopes that he was happily building with legos. The lights were on, but he was nowhere to be found! 

I looked in the bathroom and several other rooms with no luck. Like every good mom, I thought, “you better be ok, cause when I find you, you're in big trouble.” My mind was racing at this point and I returned to his room for a more thorough search.

Beyond the usual mess, I realized that all of the tubs had been pulled out from under his bed. I got down on all fours and saw his arm, under the bed. His bed is low to the ground and I panicked thinking he was trapped, until he snored. My precious Mr. D had decided to hide in his shame and then fell asleep under his bed.

How many times have I done something wrong and decided to hide?

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. - Genesis 3:8

Sometimes our actions and the resulted feelings can get the best of us and instead of confessing our mistakes we hide. 

There are times I catch myself in a tight spot hiding from God. I have learned that my hiding typically follows a repetitious sin. It is something that God and I have dealt with before, yet I am back, making the same mistake. 

God doesn’t want us to hide from him. He wants to make us whole. He is able! The further we run, however, the deeper we fall into trouble and even depression. 

God forgives us the moment we ask. He loves us and wants to make us whole. There may be consequences to our mistake, but there is also restoration to our relationship with God. That, my friend, is the best place to be.

Abba Father, thank you for loving me even when I am unloveable and stubborn. Please forgive me for hiding from you instead of confessing my mistakes. Thank you for your faithfulness and forgiveness. Amen.

In Sickness and In Health

Photographer: Arvind Balaraman

This last week has been draining. My little one has been sick. As every mom knows, when one of yours is sick, Mom's life is put on hold. My days were spent, cuddling (which I love), taking temperatures, dispensing medicine, calling doctors, going to doctors appointments, changing sheets and dirty clothing (which I don't love) and praying. My nights were similar. I didn't sleep well as I listened for little voices, coughs and sneezes. I spent time on the floor next to the bed holding a cool cloth on his forehead, soothing him and praying for healing.

As I was doing my Bible study this weekend, I identified with an unusual character: Abraham's servant (Genesis 24). We don't know much about this man, as a matter of fact, we don't even know his name. We do learn, however, that he was very dedicated to Abraham. When Abraham had an important errand, he called on his oldest [longest employed] servant. The servant put everything else aside so that he could go and find a wife for his master. I recognize that it is easier to do the right thing when his master was there, but in verse 33, we learn that the servant, again, put his master's needs ahead of his own. This servant was a man of character.

It is difficult to continually give of ourselves. It goes against our nature to put others needs ahead of our own. As my second child started showing signs of the same illness, I started to feel resentful. I had already spent a week waiting on one child. All of my work had suffered as my schedule (and sleep) revolved around getting my child healthy. Now another one?

How did Abraham's servant continue to give?

In verse 12, I learned the secret to his success. He prayed. Although his words seem to suggest that he did not believe in God, his prayer language actually reinforces the respect that he has for Abraham. When God answers his request, the servant stopped and worshiped God (verse 26). The servant recognized that God was the reason for his success. Someone who is living through the faith of someone else would not take the time to recognize or worship the giver of the gift.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:7-8,19


Author Erin Smalley said it best. "You and I cannot generate a single drop of love. It all comes from God. By receiving God, we receive His love. We can then open our hearts and share love with others. Loving feels good to us, but we are just passing on what we've received from God."

Being a servant to someone else is the best way of loving them and expressing the love that God gave us.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. - Galatians 5:13

I will continue today to love a second child back to health. I cannot do it alone, however. I will pray and worship the one who has enabled me to love.

Thank you Lord, for teaching me through the most unlikely person. You are so faithful in meeting my needs even before I realize what is needed. Thank you for loving me and teaching me to love. Thank you for sending your Son to serve us even when we were not worthy of His service. Amen.

Lessons from the Lions Den

Daniel was a good man. He sought God and obeyed His commands. God had a plan for Daniel. King Belshazzar needed information and none of the wise men in his courts could help him. Someone suggested Daniel. Daniel was brought to the king, and by seeking God, Daniel was able to provide the information the king desired. From that moment, he continued to do well within the courts. He impressed the king’s successor and became even more successful.

Daniel was thriving in his work! In that time and in our time, success often comes with a target for you to wear. Daniel entered his “first lion’s den”. The other people in his “office” became jealous.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 

There was talk of promotion and that did not sit well with the others. They decided that Daniel had to go. They watched every move he made in order to catch him doing something illegal or to compromise his character. They found nothing. Daniel was a person of integrity.

The coworkers decided the only thing that would cause Daniel to fall would be his dedication to God. The administrators went to the king and encouraged him to make a new law. The law stated that for the next 30 days people should only pray to the king. Anyone caught disobeying this law would be thrown to the lions.

Daniel knew about this new law. But, he was dedicated to God. He continued the Jewish practice of praying three specific times throughout the day. He did not hide his prayer or his beliefs, he continued just as he always had. I believe that Daniel feared God more than he feared man. He did not compromise who he was even with the possibility of death hanging over him.

The authorities reported to the king that Daniel was continuing his daily prayer times. The king liked Daniel and did not want him to be killed. The king tried to find a loophole, but he could not. So, with more pressure from the coworkers, the king sent for Daniel. They threw Daniel into the lions den and as the den was closed the king said, “May your God, whom you serve continually rescue you!” The king did not like that he had sealed the fate of a good man.

At first light, the king rushed to the lion’s den to see if Daniel had made it through the night. Daniel was alive! All of the glory belonged to God. God rewarded Daniel’s dedication and character. The king sent for the men who had wrongly accused Daniel, they were killed. The king also issued a new law that everyone in the kingdom should “fear and reverence the God of Daniel”.

In his time, Daniel was a captive, a prisoner, but today he was my teacher. There are so many things I can learn from Daniel.

Jealousy is an ugly thing! It makes us act and behave ugly. It makes us say things we wish we hadn’t. It makes us do things we often regret. Jealousy is not of God. It is human nature and it is difficult to fight that nature alone.

I need to work on being happy for others when they are blessed or when they are successful. By seeking God, I will be filled with the Holy Spirit and the fruit that He provides. When I am filled with His love, I can love others and honestly share in their success.

In the face of adversity Daniel did not compromise his character. Integrity is a beautiful thing! It is refreshing to see someone so faithful to God that he is willing to put his life in jeopardy rather than stop worshipping Him.

I need to work on being true to who I am in Jesus. He has changed me for the better. I am not perfect and I won’t be as long as I am on Earth, but I am better with Him than I am without Him.

In a world full of lies and deceit it is easy to get caught up in all of it. It is often easier to pretend I am someone else rather than risk being looked at as a “Jesus freak”. It is often easier to go along with the crowd rather than stand up and say, “These are my beliefs and I will follow them at any cost”.

I need to work on being more afraid of God than of people. I doesn’t matter if I lose my social standing or the worldly image that others want to see. What truly matters is that I am seeking Him first.

Watch out that you do not lose what you have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully. 2 John 1:8 

Lord, I thank you for providing such great examples in Your Word. I praise you that an event from 2600 years ago is still applicable to my life. Only you could accomplish such a magnificent feat. Thank you for teaching me lessons that bring me closer to you and closer to the plan that you have prepared for me. Please help me to become a person of integrity who is dedicated to you and not ashamed to say “I love my God and will follow Him at any cost”. In Jesus precious name. Amen. 

Hugs,

Lynnette

What's In a Name?

Photo by Gregory Szarkiewicz

ELOHIM, EL SHADDAI, ADONAI, JEHOVAH, KADOSH, LORD, SHAPHAT, EL ROI, CHRIST, PALET, YESHUA, MAGEN, DESPOTES, I AM, JESUS, SHEPHERD, JEHOVAH ELOHIM, EL ELYON, GOD

What do these names mean to you? Try reading them again, out loud. What feelings do you experience? Are you stirred? Humbled? Awed? Inspired?

I am very unsettled with the use of God in our everyday conversations. I'm not referring to conversations that involve: "my God is so great" or "God is good all the time".  I am talking about casual, flippant remarks, such as: "Oh my God" or "What in God's name".

I had a similar conversation via Facebook, a couple of months ago. The Facebook responses were quite passionate. The issue seemed black and white to the people who responded. Either it was no big deal to say "OMG" or it was a very big deal.

I fall in the category of it is a very big deal. It bothers me to the core. I don't say it, and I don't let my kids say it. We don't even say "O-M-G", because of the meaning behind it and what the letters represent. To me, it is using a holy name in a demeaning, disrespectful and irreverent way. I believe that He deserves more.

I was at a gathering back in October and I was introduced to a woman who grew up with my husband. They knew each other from church and school. She and my husband began playing catch-up; what they are doing now, where they live, how many kids and their ages, along with various other details. My husband included me in the conversation and it quickly turned toward faith, as I mentioned attending Bible studies and our couples small group. She added that she is also involved in her church.

As the conversation progressed to other topics, I became increasingly more uncomfortable. This Christian woman used "God-d@%&" so many times in the conversation that I lost track! I was shocked and disturbed and hurt. I could no longer concentrate on the discussion we were having. In my mind, the rest of her words were overshadowed by this great offense. I stood there dumbfounded as her words continued to spill out. I tried to think of a way to excuse myself and I may have even just walked away as she and my husband ended their dialogue. 

During our drive home that night, I brought it up to my husband. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me and I needed to wrap my head around what had been said. 

Out of nowhere, I started, "I can't believe that she said that". 

"What?" My husband had no idea what I was referring to. 

"(insert name). I can't believe how many times she said G-D". I didn't want to say it, I only used the letters. 

"Oh well, she will probably just confess and her slate will be wiped clean," my husband stated simply. 

"But that doesn't make it right," I responded.

"No, but that is what we were taught," he said. Referring to the church they attended. 

My husband and I have had this conversation before. This is not new territory for us. We have both grown in our faith since we first met and we work at not using this language. But, for the first time, discussing this issue, I had a response. I believe that the Holy Spirit gave me wisdom that night. The words came to me and before I had time to think, I spoke. 

"If she really loved Him, if she really knew what He had done for her, she wouldn't use His name that way. Can you imagine using one of our children's names that way?"

"No one ever explained it that way to us." His response was simple and thought-filled.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

I would like to have a mulligan and go back to my conversation with that woman. When she started down her path, I would like to say, "That is my Father you are talking about. I love God, and I will not listen to you degrade His name". Perhaps I would walk away, perhaps I would wait to hear her response.

I am not perfect. I have said things that I know I shouldn't. I don't want anyone to feel condemned. I am working on this too. Every day, I strive to be more like Jesus. I just can't imagine Jesus talking with Peter and saying, "OMG, can you believe how many people we fed today?"

You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. Exodus 20:7

Lord, you are holy and you are worthy of so much more than I often give. Thank you for your forgiveness and mercy even when I haven't done anything to deserve it. I pray that I you will give me the words I need so that my conversations will be full of grace and seasoned with salt, so that I know how to answer everyone (Col 4:6). Please teach me to be more like Jesus in my actions and my choice of words. You are my friend and I will treat you as such. Amen.


More information on the names of God.

Your Tally Sheet Has Been Erased

I have messed up! A couple of times in the last week, I have really made some mistakes. These are not major life changing mistakes (although, I've made those too). These are just general human errors. It is just me, moving too quickly, not slowing down to think. Unfortunately, these mistakes affected other people. I don't worry about it too much when it is just me, but when I catch other people in my whirlwind, I feel bad.

When my husband and I first got married, I used to be very good at keeping score. Not with Monopoly or Backgammon, but, with transgressions. In my head, I had a little note pad with tally marks. Every time my husband messed up, I would add another tally. They were even categorized by major and minor infractions. I would save these lists and use them as ammunition in arguments whenever I needed them.

As I started walking with God, this score keeping became more uncomfortable for me.

Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Ouch! That one stings a little. But, God knows what is best for us at all times.

I am happy to say, I have gotten better about this. I have to be very conscious of forgiving mistakes as soon as they happen. It is very easy for my old thinking to sneak back up and get the tally sheet ready. Sometimes I even need to say out loud to myself "I am not keeping score. I have forgiven that offense."

Why should we forgive others of their errors? For one thing, we are all human. We all make mistakes. It is part of living. No one is perfect. The second reason, and probably the most important reason, is we are forgiven.

Psalm 103:12 

as far as the east is from the west, 

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Have you ever thought about that? Last year, they were talking about this scripture on the radio and I haven't forgotten it! If you are travel North around the earth, eventually, you would be going South. If you start traveling East around the earth you will always be heading East. This was such a great visual for me. God has removed my mistakes and I will never be near them again!

God has forgiven us of so many transgressions and He is not done. We make mistakes everyday and if we are faithful in confessing them, He is faithful in removing them from us. Every one is forgiven! It is comforting to know we have a loving Father that forgives every error whether it is big or small.

I want to be just like Him when I grow up!


Lord, thank you for forgiving all of my mistakes. You are so loving, kind and full of mercy. Please teach me how to be like you. Help me not keep record of the transgressions that are made against me. Help me not keep record of my own mistakes. Show me how to forgive the way I have been forgiven. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Buried Treasure

You never know when God is going to show up. Earlier this week, I was mindlessly going about my morning routine. I pulled the basket out of the coffee pot to throw away the old grounds, and then opened the cupboard to pull out the garbage can. I was caught of guard. First, there was a fresh garbage bag, which doesn't often happen. We play the game of garbage balancing in our home. You may be familiar with this game, the rules are simple, just put your garbage on top and if it topples over, you have to take out the trash. But, second, in the bottom of the can was a little treasure!

My daughter is in first grade this year. She is really enjoying reading and writing. She has truly found freedom and fulfillment in sounding out words, putting sentences together and then drawing pictures to go with them. She spends most of her free time making books or writing stories. The treasure that I found in the garbage belonged to her. I garbage picked it!

The words weren't spelled correctly and usually, I can sound it out to understand what she is writing, but this time I couldn't do it. I got most of it, but not the whole thing. I set it aside, in a prominent place, so that I could be sure to ask about it later.

The morning routine was crazy, I didn't have a spare minute to talk with her about it. I needed more than just a quick answer, I wanted to have a conversation with her. It stayed on top of the microwave for the day. Every time I walked past, I looked at it and tried to unscramble the message. Similar to a puzzle that you can't walk away from, it was in the back of my mind all day. I couldn't wait until she got home. 

After she had a few minutes to unwind from the busyness of the day, I picked up the piece of paper, handed it to her and asked her to read it to me. 

"I follow my heart. Step, by step, by step. You will make it right for me." 

"Did you hear that somewhere?" I asked. 

"No" she replied, "I was just writing a song, and I made it up." 

My next question,"why did you throw it away?"

"I messed up", she said sadly. 

Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless. Daniel 11:35

I was silenced. Her words were so simple and yet, so true. How many times have we been following God along the path and we mess up. We don't know how to undo what we have done so instead, we throw it away.

Again I ask: Did they stumble so as to fall beyond recovery? Not at all! Romans 11:11a

I made my request. "Can I have this?"

"Sure." Pause.  "Why?" She wondered.

"I like it. I want to write about it. Is that okay?"

"Yes", she smiled.

though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:24

God placed it on my heart to use this as a teachable moment. "You know, God loves us all the time. Even when we mess up. There is nothing we can do to make Him stop loving us. If we apologize and ask Him for forgiveness, He always forgives us."

"I know, Mom", she said. As she rolled her eyes and walked away.

I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. Prov 4:11

I could have taken offense, but I didn't. She heard me. It will be there when she needs it most.

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov 3:6

Father, I praise you for your goodness, favor and mercy. Thank you for loving me so perfectly. I know that I am human and I am going to make mistakes. But, I also know that you forgive every one of them. I am grateful for your wisdom, guidance, knowledge and for all of the times you have picked me up and put me back on your perfect path. Amen.

Life. Some assembly required.

This past weekend, I went to a fundraiser for the firefighters who were recently hurt in a Detroit business fire. The fundraiser featured several local rock bands and was held in a bar. This used to be a comfortable place for me, but in the last several years, places and scenes like this have become increasingly more uncomfortable. But, we had friends injured in that fire who are struggling to regain their lives and so, we have made an effort to support them whenever we are able.

I sat on a stool surrounded by my husband and friends and I began to look around and do some people watching. I saw people of many ages and a true mixture of styles. I have been making jewelry since high school, and so this is often one of the first things I look at. I was surprised to note a great number of crosses. It stirred my soul. I began really thinking about it.

What does the cross mean to you? 

As my journey progresses, I would answer this question differently now than I would have even a year ago. The more that I understand and live, the more that the cross represents to me.

How has your life changed since accepting Jesus? 

Accepting Jesus is the first part of our journey and for most, it is the easiest part. This however, is just the beginning. If we accept Jesus today and then go about our lives the same way we did yesterday, we are missing the point.

Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity (Hebrews 6:1, NIV) 

On the radio this week, the DJ said, “Christian means little Christ”. We are supposed to become more like Christ and be little Christ’s in the world. Everyday, we need to work to be more like Him. For me, this has been the hard part. 

Imagine if I gave you a pile of materials like wood, screws, nails and various tools and then I said “I will give you one million dollars if you build a birdhouse”. Piece of cake you think, even without woodworking experience, I can fake my way through this and put together a birdhouse. Even if it is not pretty, it will be functional. “Here is the catch”, I say. “It has to look exactly like mine”. Things just got a little tougher, but bring it on, you think. “Oh, and you don’t get to see mine, and you don’t get any instructions”, I add. At this, your heart might sink. There isn’t much chance that your birdhouse will look exactly like mine, and that million dollars will not be going home with you.

Now, imagine God doing this; “I will give you eternal life if you live a live exactly like I planned for you. But, I’m not going to give you any instructions.” I have lived this way! Struggling with decisions, trying to be a better person through my own strength, wondering what God really wants for me. Life with Him is not supposed to be that difficult.

God gave us the gift of Jesus, some assembly required. The building and assembly, however, is us. God has given us all the instructions and all the tools we need in order to succeed. But, we will never make it if we don’t know what He wants us to do. It is so important to get into His word. Read the instructions that He has given us. Find the tools that He has given us and use them.

We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us. (Hebrews 6: 18-20, The Message) 

Keep your eyes fixed on Him and on His word. The more we use the gifts He has given, the more we hold on to the promises He has made, the more we will be like Him.

There is always another option with a gift. We can choose to return it.

It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God. But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned. (Hebrews 6: 4-8) 

There are people who have completely rejected the gift of Jesus. They have seen the goodness and the power and have chosen to give it back. Unwanted. It is a scary thought. It leaves me with the same uncomfortable feeling I had this weekend.

Don’t leave this gift in the box. Open it up!

Heavenly Father, I don’t want to waste the gift you have given me. I want to read your instructions, put my life together according to your plan and I want to be more like Jesus. I don’t want to remain unchanged. Please open my eyes, ears, heart and mind to all of your promises. I don’t want them to go unused. Amen. 

Hugs,

Lynnette

My Story

I have had three people within the last week mention "your story" or "your testimony". Around here, we call that an echo from God. Perhaps He is trying to tell me something!

Until yesterday, I didn't think I had a testimony. It seems silly now, but there wasn't a big life changing experience or a flash of lightning. After some reflection, I don't think that testimonies have to be that way. Some are big and exciting and "flashy" and then there is the rest of us. Normal everyday people. With normal everyday stories.

I was raised in the church by Christian parents. We went to church most Sunday's (unless someone was sick or we were out of town) and Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. In High School, I joined the Youth Group and got very involved there with activities and work/mission trips. Then college... I didn't do as well. I didn't completely walk away from God, but I am pretty sure I didn't follow the path that He had planned for me. Looking back, I know that God was with me even though I wasn't seeking Him. He put people in my life that were strong Christians and they were a good influence on me when everything else was so bad. I tried attending church there and did a few times, but it never became habit and it was so easy to just sleep in.

After college, I moved back home. I went back to church with my family and was welcomed with open arms and even taught Confirmation that year. Shortly after moving home, I met my husband and while we were dating, we often attended church. Either his or mine. Looking back at that time, I see now that I still wasn't following God. I did my best and fooled a lot of people including myself. Maybe it wasn't fooling, but ignorance on my part. 

Life went on. I went to church on Sunday and I did my own thing the rest of the week. I thought that was enough. I had the label "Christian". I had accepted Jesus. I knew right from wrong (in my own mind). I tried to be a good person, helping others, not stealing or killing. What more was there? 

This season lasted about seven years. During that time, I almost completely quit going to church. Things did not really start to change until I was trying to get pregnant for the first time. Typical of the season I was in, I didn't turn to God until I needed Him. I was fine on my own, until a crisis appeared. Then, I treated God like my personal Genie. I went through tests and took fertility medication, until I couldn't live with the side effects any longer. A month later, I was pregnant. I would like to say that I had turned to God and said, "You are bigger and You know what is best. I surrender my life to you."  But, I didn't. I thanked God and moved on. 

But, I began thinking (or rather, God placed it on my heart and I finally started to listen) that I needed more.  I wanted my child to have a good foundation. I wanted to give my baby the good morals that I had been given. In my heart, I knew there was something to the "whole church thing", I just didn't know what it was. I began "church shopping". I tried several local churches and decided on the one that was the most comfortable. I got involved with the Children's ministry and made some great friends. We stayed there for almost three years, until the church changed and I no longer felt comfortable. I took a step back to analyze the changes.

On Thanksgiving morning of 2008, I was getting ready to go to dinner at my parents house. I had the TV on for news and background noise. Joyce Meyer came on and that is when things really changed for me. I don't remember what she said exactly, but I was at that point I realized there was something more to church than "religion". That was the turning point for me, I began to find my own faith. For so long, I was living on what my parents said or the way they raised me. It wasn't until I really started doing it for me that I was able to understand what so many others already had and what God wants for all of us. I began to read my Bible, although I didn't understand it, and we found a new church. 

The new church has made a huge difference. I am really being fed the word! I didn't realize how hungry I was until I heard someone who really spoke to me. I also joined a women's Bible study. That has been a big step for me and really encouraged me in my daily walk. I enjoy reading the Bible and reading books that take me deeper in the word. I love being around Christian women who share the same values and beliefs that I do. I miss it when I am not there and have made it a priority in my schedule.

Everyday, I work at being more open about my faith and my Savior. Throughout my life, I hid my faith and beliefs (and still do to some extent) from others out of fear of rejection. What I didn't understand is that our choices are either good or bad. So, fear of rejection from people caused me to reject God. I should have feared Him more than people. I am getting better at it, and stepping out on faith more than ever before. I am trying to be open with my children, so that they will learn that God's opinion is much more important than people's opinion. I am trying to teach them that their faith is not something to hide or be ashamed of. As the women of my Bible studies have taught me, it is in the sharing that we grow.

Those who have known me for a while can appreciate that this blog was a big, scary step. I don't really know where this is all going- meaning the blog. I just felt like this was the direction that He was leading me. I have never been a writer, but it seems like He is using me for something. My wonderful and supportive Mom recently told me, "you don't need to know why, you just need to obey and trust in Him who always knows".

That is the cool thing about God! He is not normal or everyday. He is creative and exciting and unexpected. When we follow Him, our lives are that way too. Looking back, I see that His fingerprints are all over my life! This is not really my story it is our story.

1 Kings 19:11-12 (New Living Translation)

 ¹¹ “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.

Lord, I am a sinner. On my own, I am not good enough to come into your presence. I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins. I believe that he rose and ascended into heaven. Through my belief in Jesus I am able to come to you at the throne. Thank you Abba, that you were faithful when I was fickle. Thank you for pursuing me when I turned away. Thank you for loving me when I was unloveable. Amen.

Have you exercised recently?

I recently read that our faith is something that needs to be exercised in order for it to grow. I will be honest, the mention of the word exercise stirs up many emotions in me and none of them are very good or happy. My husband and my children are very active! They love and play several different sports and they work hard at learning to be better athletes. I am active in other ways. My activities include vigorous cleaning, running up and down stairs to do laundry, running the kids to school or activities and walking up and down the grocery store aisles. I know these are not technically the best way to exercise and they are not really helping my body, but some days that is all I can manage.

So, when I read that we need to exercise our faith, I wasn't entirely happy. But I will say, I was somewhat relieved. I have often wondered how others seem to have so much more faith than I do. It didn't seem right that God would give some an extra helping, while others are getting the leftovers.


Mark 7:24-30
The Faith of a Syrophoenician Woman 
Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret. In fact, as soon as she heard about him, a woman whose little daughter was possessed by an evil spirit came and fell at his feet. The woman was a Greek, born in Syrian Phoenicia. She begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter. 

"First let the children eat all they want," he told her, "for it is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs." "Yes, Lord," she replied, "but even the dogs under the table eat the children's crumbs."

Then he told her, "For such a reply, you may go; the demon has left your daughter." She went home and found her child lying on the bed, and the demon gone.

This passage confused me for a while. Why are they talking about dogs and table scraps? There is a  sweet child out there possessed by a demon! Jesus, do something!

But, we need a little background in order to understand this story. He was a Jewish man. She was a Gentile woman. She had two strikes against her. In that time, she was at the bottom of the food chain (the dogs). Women, especially Gentile, women were not supposed to approach a Jewish leader, such as Jesus. But her child was home, suffering. She got word that Jesus was in town, and she had heard stories about the miraculous healings he had performed. She decided that her child was worth going against the social etiquette. She stepped out on faith.

Now, I don't think that Jesus was calling this woman a dog as a put down. I think he was helping her exercise. She had risked coming to see him, which was the warmup part of her exercise. She begged him to heal her daughter, which was the first part of her workout (she was still fresh and motivated). He questioned her request. She had to keep her eyes on her goal. She needed her daughter healed and had faith that he was the one to do it. She asked for just a little bit of what he had and that was the last part of the workout. She could have quit halfway through, but she didn't.

He daughter was healed. Her faith was strengthened. As a woman and a mother, she was heard, recognized and confirmed. But, none of this would have happened if she had stayed home with her daughter hoping for a miracle. God can, and does, perform miracles everyday. But, we have to leave the house! We have to take the first few steps on faith. We have to go out into the world. God is waiting and He is faithful, but it is our choice to get moving!

At times, I go through seasons of faithful exercise, they don't usually last long and then I am back to going without. I feel so much better and stronger when I do get regular exercise, but I don't make it a priority. The same, goes with my faith. There are days I feel strong and others where I haven't done the work.

I have a few things on my to do list that I have been avoiding! I am off to do them now. I am stepping out on faith and I know that God is waiting there for me to show up.

Heavenly Father, you are so good and faithful and patient. Thank you for calling me toward you and helping me grow in your love. Help me to see the opportunities that you have prepared for me, to exercise my faith. I know that you are with me and that you are guiding me through it all. Thank you Jesus, that you know exactly what I need to become more like you. Amen.

Please leave a comment and let me know what you are going to do to exercise today.

Be Bold

I have been praying lately that God would make me more bold.

My good friend tells me that I am bold in my prayer life. That I ask for things she would never think to ask. One of my recent prayer requests was that I become more like the woman from Proverbs 31. She has it together! Her house is in order, her husband praises her and her children call her blessed, she works to help her family and I bet she never ran out of milk or bread.

She is a godly woman. Verse 30 says, Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. I would like to know more about her. I would like to know what her prayer life was like. What did she pray for? How did she approach God? My guess is that she was bold. She was a go-getter! Buying property, planting a vineyard and then (I'm assuming) selling the grapes to make a profit. I don't know much about the other women of her time, but I am guessing they were more concerned about the affairs of the house than buying property. She was not the normal housewife.

She always knew what to say to others. Verse 26- She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Sometimes I say the most foolish things and there are times I don't know what to say. More times than I would like to count, however, I hold my tongue and don't speak. The subject is often faith. Why do I worry so much about offending others with talk of Jesus? I am comfortable with people that I know, but with people that I don't know, I censor myself.

One scripture that has always stood out to me is Matthew 7:21-23 - ²¹"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. ²²Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' ²³Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' Jesus is talking about false prophets. People who say they are from God, but they are not. For a long time, this scripture did not make me uncomfortable. I figured that Jesus was talking about the people that claim to know God, but had nothing to back it up. Until I did a little more digging. The NIV study Bible references Romans 10:9-10 ⁹That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. I have confessed that Jesus is Lord and I believe it in my heart. I believe I have been saved.

Luke 12:8-9 ⁸"I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God. ⁹But he who disowns me before men will be disowned before the angels of God.

From the dictionary:
- acknowledge: 1. to admit 2. to show recognition of 3. to show appreciation for
- disown: to refuse to acknowledge as belonging to oneself

That makes me a little more uncomfortable! I have never outright disowned him, but there are times that I don't speak up about my love for him because it is "not the right time" or "it is not the right place" or "I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable". Is there much difference between disowning and remaining silent?

I want to be more bold in my relationship with him. I submitted my application for baptism yesterday. I filled out my paperwork almost a year ago and then I got nervous and didn't turn it in. I was baptized by sprinkling, but not immersed like every baptism in the Bible. It is a big, bold, public statement at our church. There is an auditorium filled with more than a thousand people and that scares me. I don't have to talk in front of anyone, but I have to walk out on the stage and get into the pool. I know that God has been leading me in this direction. And I want to be obedient.

- bold: 1. courageous and daring 2. vivid; prominent

Acts 4:29 Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.

I firmly grasp the prayer of Paul:
Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. Ephesians 6:19-20

The waiting game (Part 1?)

I read the story of Sarai this week (Genesis 12-17). God spoke to Abram and said "I will make you a great nation. I will bless you." The scripture says nothing about his wife Sarai, other than Abram took her along with all their possessions and set out for Canaan. Along the way, God said to Abram "I will give this land to your offspring."

We learn that Sarai, has not been able to conceive a child. God had made a promise to Abram, but never mentioned his wife. I'm sure that it was a given that God would bless Abram and Sarai with a child, but why didn't he mention her?

Sarai, gets tired of waiting and takes the situation into her own hands. This is where it goes downhill quickly! She gives her maidservant to Abram as a wife, so that he can have children. It was a custom at that time, for men to adopt servant children as heirs, if they didn't have children of their own. Hagar conceives a child. Animosity and tension builds between the two women.

Again, the Lord appears to Abram and says Hagar's child is not the one he will bless. There is another child that will come from Sarai (who is now 90 years old) and this child will be the son that God intends to bless and make fruitful.

So, Sarai (now called Sarah) messed up because she didn't wait on God. She didn't wait for Him to fulfill the promise that he made with Abram (now called Abraham).

I have been thinking about my life and the times I have waited on God, either patiently or impatiently. There are also plenty of times that I have not waited. I can completely identify with Sarah. God made a deal with Abraham and never directly mentioned who the mother would be. So, maybe He didn't mean her? She was in a holding pattern and felt like she needed to do something. She didn't want to be the one standing in the way of her husband's blessing. There have been opportunities in my life that came up, and I wonder "am I supposed to move on this or do I wait on God"? There have been times I have stepped out on faith, things don't go well and I wonder "was I wrong for moving ahead"?

In The Feminine Soul by Janet Davis, she speaks to this topic. "At times our exclusion from God's work is as real as Sarai's infertility. In those times it is far easier to draw false conclusions, to blame, and to settle for less than it is to persevere in our vision, struggle, and unfulfilled desire. It is critically important to own that we, like Sarai, have sometimes been the first ones to give up the vision of our contribution to the whole of the church, unwilling to remain engaged in the difficult and painful struggle."

It is easier to think, than wait. I start thinking instead of waiting. I think myself right out of the plan that God had prepared. It can be so painful! Things happened between Sarai and Hagar that would have never occurred if Sarai had only waited.

I am not finished with this study. Here are my questions:
How do we know when to wait?
How do we know when to step out on faith?
Why didn't God mention Sarai/Sarah until the final covenant?

You Alone

I woke up in such a bad place today- to be honest- I went to sleep in one too. Picking up, cleaning up, putting away, bringing in. Why doesn't anyone do for themselves? Why am I the only one who sees the dirt on the floor or the garbage cans at the street? There is so much that needs to be done and so much that I want to do.

God, help me! I am in an ugly place!

1 Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Father, save me and deliver me.

Psalm 7:1-2 O LORD my God, I take refuge in you;
save and deliver me from all who pursue me,

² or they will tear me like a lion
and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me.

Lord, help me to be happy.

Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Father, please fill me with joy.

Psalm 4:7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound

God, I praise you!

1 Samuel 2:1-10
Hannah's Prayer
¹ Then Hannah prayed and said:
"My heart rejoices in the LORD;
in the LORD my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
for I delight in your deliverance.

² "There is no one holy like the LORD;
there is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.

³ "Do not keep talking so proudly
or let your mouth speak such arrogance,
for the LORD is a God who knows,
and by him deeds are weighed.

⁴ "The bows of the warriors are broken,
but those who stumbled are armed with strength.

⁵ Those who were full hire themselves out for food,
but those who were hungry hunger no more.
She who was barren has borne seven children,
but she who has had many sons pines away.

⁶ "The LORD brings death and makes alive;
he brings down to the grave and raises up.

⁷ The LORD sends poverty and wealth;
he humbles and he exalts.

⁸ He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
and has them inherit a throne of honor.
"For the foundations of the earth are the LORD's;
upon them he has set the world.

⁹ He will guard the feet of his saints,
but the wicked will be silenced in darkness.
"It is not by strength that one prevails;

¹⁰ those who oppose the LORD will be shattered.
He will thunder against them from heaven;
the LORD will judge the ends of the earth.
"He will give strength to his king
and exalt the horn of his anointed."

You alone are worthy of praise.

Close Encounters

Have you ever had one of those study times when it feels like God is right there talking to you? I love that feeling! I had one today.

I am currently doing the "Breaking Free" study by Beth Moore with my small group (Beth's words and ideas are in blue). The study today was all about
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

As only Beth can, she dissected the scripture, explained each of the pieces, then put it back together so that I could apply it to my life. "Strongholds are like concrete fortresses we've constructed around our lives for protection and comfort. These fortresses become prisons. At some point we realize we no longer control them. They control us." Hmmm.... giving other people too much weight, power and control over my life? Sounds like a stronghold! One that I have dealt with so many times in my life. I am a pleaser. I want to make others happy. I want others to be happy with me. I don't want to offend anyone. Insecurity plays a major role in strongholds. I was/am not confident in who God made me. Unbelief that God can do anything (which is a sin). "We often rationalize our strongholds. We maintain excuses for not surrendering areas of our lives to the authority of Christ". My excuse: I need this or that (person, approval) to be ok.

divine power to demolish strongholds (v.4) The truth is that I really only need Jesus to be ok.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God (v.5) I thought I knew what was best. I didn't seek God first and ask Him. Another sin- pride!

we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (v.5) We become victors through surrender to Christ. I need to surrender to Christ. I may have to do this everyday or even several times a day.

So here is the prayer I wrote in my notebook:
I am still so easily swayed by the enemies lies! God please break any strongholds in my life. I want to live in your perfect will today and everyday. I do not want to put anyone or anything in the place that only you should be.

I still had a few minutes, before I needed to get ready for the day. So, I opened another favorite, Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts. I turned to the bookmarked page and found:Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Roberts wrote, "Put down your anxieties, and trust Me for everything. You need nothing but what I am fully able to supply, with no effort on your part. I do not ask all My children to live in so complete a degree of trust, but I require it of you, because you cannot please Me with anything less."

I can feel the heat from the refining! Discipline has never felt so great... and freeing!