Packing My Baggage

Photographer: winnond

Just over twenty four hours ago, I received the most amazing news. I started the morning dealing with the emotions of not winning the She Speaks scholarship. I was disappointed, but I went back to the words God had spoken to me last week, "Go. I will make a way".

God is not human, that he should lie, 
not a human being, that he should change his mind. 

Does he speak and then not act? 

Does he promise and not fulfill?

-Numbers 23:19

I believed Him. If it was not through the scholarship, it would be through another source. As I was working on some writing, I received a message on my blog:

Hi Lynnette,

I have some wonderful news for you :)

After reading your scholarship entry, someone felt God nudging she and her husband to pay your registration fee so that you can attend the conference this year! This anonymous donation is clearly God's provision, and His intent for you to attend She Speaks this year.

Please email me as soon as you can so that I can get you registered :)

And... congratulations!

Blessings,
LeAnn Rice
Proverbs 31 Ministries

I was shocked! Somehow, my best friend has a sense about these things, she called me at the exact moment I was reading the message. She and I laughed together and praised God for His provision. My mom was the next call followed, of course, by my sister-in-law. She was driving back to work from lunch. Just a minute she said, "I have to pull over. I can't see." She and I talked for a few minutes and cried for a couple. Even though we were thousands of miles apart, I have never felt closer to her. "Keep me updated on everything," she requested later, via text. "Of course I will," I responded. "You are part of this now."

It is so easy to get sidetracked by negative feelings, emotions and thoughts. These are the times we need to draw closer to God and His truth. In our Bible Study yesterday, Beth Moore said, that the enemy wins when he silences our testimony. When we are quiet about the great things that God has done, when we don't share the amazing gift of our Savior, the enemy speaks. The devil will do anything to undermine our personal testimony and witness because he knows the power that it holds. Beth went on to say that while we are waiting for the big victory, we should look for the little battles where the enemy is defeated. We are more than conquerors. We are more than over comers. We are not fragile. Although we feel insecure, we are victors!

That is why Christ died. So that the victory would be ours!

I encourage you to think about your testimony. Look at the little battles where you have been victorious. Think about the times that He has been faithful when everything else seemed to be crumbling around you. You were made to be victorious. You were made to be blessed and highly favored. No matter what the world is telling you, the truth comes from Him.

Heavenly Father, I am humbled by Your blessings this week. I am in awe of You and all that you do to meet my needs abundantly. I confess that there are times I forget that You are in control and that everything will work according to Your purpose and plan. Teach me the way to be strong in Jesus. I know that I am not capable of accomplishing great things on my own, but, with You, nothing will be impossible for me. I love you with all of my heart. Amen.

Your Tally Sheet Has Been Erased

I have messed up! A couple of times in the last week, I have really made some mistakes. These are not major life changing mistakes (although, I've made those too). These are just general human errors. It is just me, moving too quickly, not slowing down to think. Unfortunately, these mistakes affected other people. I don't worry about it too much when it is just me, but when I catch other people in my whirlwind, I feel bad.

When my husband and I first got married, I used to be very good at keeping score. Not with Monopoly or Backgammon, but, with transgressions. In my head, I had a little note pad with tally marks. Every time my husband messed up, I would add another tally. They were even categorized by major and minor infractions. I would save these lists and use them as ammunition in arguments whenever I needed them.

As I started walking with God, this score keeping became more uncomfortable for me.

Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Ouch! That one stings a little. But, God knows what is best for us at all times.

I am happy to say, I have gotten better about this. I have to be very conscious of forgiving mistakes as soon as they happen. It is very easy for my old thinking to sneak back up and get the tally sheet ready. Sometimes I even need to say out loud to myself "I am not keeping score. I have forgiven that offense."

Why should we forgive others of their errors? For one thing, we are all human. We all make mistakes. It is part of living. No one is perfect. The second reason, and probably the most important reason, is we are forgiven.

Psalm 103:12 

as far as the east is from the west, 

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Have you ever thought about that? Last year, they were talking about this scripture on the radio and I haven't forgotten it! If you are travel North around the earth, eventually, you would be going South. If you start traveling East around the earth you will always be heading East. This was such a great visual for me. God has removed my mistakes and I will never be near them again!

God has forgiven us of so many transgressions and He is not done. We make mistakes everyday and if we are faithful in confessing them, He is faithful in removing them from us. Every one is forgiven! It is comforting to know we have a loving Father that forgives every error whether it is big or small.

I want to be just like Him when I grow up!


Lord, thank you for forgiving all of my mistakes. You are so loving, kind and full of mercy. Please teach me how to be like you. Help me not keep record of the transgressions that are made against me. Help me not keep record of my own mistakes. Show me how to forgive the way I have been forgiven. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

My Story

I have had three people within the last week mention "your story" or "your testimony". Around here, we call that an echo from God. Perhaps He is trying to tell me something!

Until yesterday, I didn't think I had a testimony. It seems silly now, but there wasn't a big life changing experience or a flash of lightning. After some reflection, I don't think that testimonies have to be that way. Some are big and exciting and "flashy" and then there is the rest of us. Normal everyday people. With normal everyday stories.

I was raised in the church by Christian parents. We went to church most Sunday's (unless someone was sick or we were out of town) and Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. In High School, I joined the Youth Group and got very involved there with activities and work/mission trips. Then college... I didn't do as well. I didn't completely walk away from God, but I am pretty sure I didn't follow the path that He had planned for me. Looking back, I know that God was with me even though I wasn't seeking Him. He put people in my life that were strong Christians and they were a good influence on me when everything else was so bad. I tried attending church there and did a few times, but it never became habit and it was so easy to just sleep in.

After college, I moved back home. I went back to church with my family and was welcomed with open arms and even taught Confirmation that year. Shortly after moving home, I met my husband and while we were dating, we often attended church. Either his or mine. Looking back at that time, I see now that I still wasn't following God. I did my best and fooled a lot of people including myself. Maybe it wasn't fooling, but ignorance on my part. 

Life went on. I went to church on Sunday and I did my own thing the rest of the week. I thought that was enough. I had the label "Christian". I had accepted Jesus. I knew right from wrong (in my own mind). I tried to be a good person, helping others, not stealing or killing. What more was there? 

This season lasted about seven years. During that time, I almost completely quit going to church. Things did not really start to change until I was trying to get pregnant for the first time. Typical of the season I was in, I didn't turn to God until I needed Him. I was fine on my own, until a crisis appeared. Then, I treated God like my personal Genie. I went through tests and took fertility medication, until I couldn't live with the side effects any longer. A month later, I was pregnant. I would like to say that I had turned to God and said, "You are bigger and You know what is best. I surrender my life to you."  But, I didn't. I thanked God and moved on. 

But, I began thinking (or rather, God placed it on my heart and I finally started to listen) that I needed more.  I wanted my child to have a good foundation. I wanted to give my baby the good morals that I had been given. In my heart, I knew there was something to the "whole church thing", I just didn't know what it was. I began "church shopping". I tried several local churches and decided on the one that was the most comfortable. I got involved with the Children's ministry and made some great friends. We stayed there for almost three years, until the church changed and I no longer felt comfortable. I took a step back to analyze the changes.

On Thanksgiving morning of 2008, I was getting ready to go to dinner at my parents house. I had the TV on for news and background noise. Joyce Meyer came on and that is when things really changed for me. I don't remember what she said exactly, but I was at that point I realized there was something more to church than "religion". That was the turning point for me, I began to find my own faith. For so long, I was living on what my parents said or the way they raised me. It wasn't until I really started doing it for me that I was able to understand what so many others already had and what God wants for all of us. I began to read my Bible, although I didn't understand it, and we found a new church. 

The new church has made a huge difference. I am really being fed the word! I didn't realize how hungry I was until I heard someone who really spoke to me. I also joined a women's Bible study. That has been a big step for me and really encouraged me in my daily walk. I enjoy reading the Bible and reading books that take me deeper in the word. I love being around Christian women who share the same values and beliefs that I do. I miss it when I am not there and have made it a priority in my schedule.

Everyday, I work at being more open about my faith and my Savior. Throughout my life, I hid my faith and beliefs (and still do to some extent) from others out of fear of rejection. What I didn't understand is that our choices are either good or bad. So, fear of rejection from people caused me to reject God. I should have feared Him more than people. I am getting better at it, and stepping out on faith more than ever before. I am trying to be open with my children, so that they will learn that God's opinion is much more important than people's opinion. I am trying to teach them that their faith is not something to hide or be ashamed of. As the women of my Bible studies have taught me, it is in the sharing that we grow.

Those who have known me for a while can appreciate that this blog was a big, scary step. I don't really know where this is all going- meaning the blog. I just felt like this was the direction that He was leading me. I have never been a writer, but it seems like He is using me for something. My wonderful and supportive Mom recently told me, "you don't need to know why, you just need to obey and trust in Him who always knows".

That is the cool thing about God! He is not normal or everyday. He is creative and exciting and unexpected. When we follow Him, our lives are that way too. Looking back, I see that His fingerprints are all over my life! This is not really my story it is our story.

1 Kings 19:11-12 (New Living Translation)

 ¹¹ “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.

Lord, I am a sinner. On my own, I am not good enough to come into your presence. I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins. I believe that he rose and ascended into heaven. Through my belief in Jesus I am able to come to you at the throne. Thank you Abba, that you were faithful when I was fickle. Thank you for pursuing me when I turned away. Thank you for loving me when I was unloveable. Amen.

You Alone

I woke up in such a bad place today- to be honest- I went to sleep in one too. Picking up, cleaning up, putting away, bringing in. Why doesn't anyone do for themselves? Why am I the only one who sees the dirt on the floor or the garbage cans at the street? There is so much that needs to be done and so much that I want to do.

God, help me! I am in an ugly place!

1 Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Father, save me and deliver me.

Psalm 7:1-2 O LORD my God, I take refuge in you;
save and deliver me from all who pursue me,

² or they will tear me like a lion
and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me.

Lord, help me to be happy.

Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Father, please fill me with joy.

Psalm 4:7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound

God, I praise you!

1 Samuel 2:1-10
Hannah's Prayer
¹ Then Hannah prayed and said:
"My heart rejoices in the LORD;
in the LORD my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
for I delight in your deliverance.

² "There is no one holy like the LORD;
there is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.

³ "Do not keep talking so proudly
or let your mouth speak such arrogance,
for the LORD is a God who knows,
and by him deeds are weighed.

⁴ "The bows of the warriors are broken,
but those who stumbled are armed with strength.

⁵ Those who were full hire themselves out for food,
but those who were hungry hunger no more.
She who was barren has borne seven children,
but she who has had many sons pines away.

⁶ "The LORD brings death and makes alive;
he brings down to the grave and raises up.

⁷ The LORD sends poverty and wealth;
he humbles and he exalts.

⁸ He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
and has them inherit a throne of honor.
"For the foundations of the earth are the LORD's;
upon them he has set the world.

⁹ He will guard the feet of his saints,
but the wicked will be silenced in darkness.
"It is not by strength that one prevails;

¹⁰ those who oppose the LORD will be shattered.
He will thunder against them from heaven;
the LORD will judge the ends of the earth.
"He will give strength to his king
and exalt the horn of his anointed."

You alone are worthy of praise.

Am I boring?

I read an article quite a while ago. It left a big impression on me. In fact, it was one that I kept. I'm not sure how I feel about it though.

It was written by Paul Scanlon. He is the founder of Abundant Life Church Ministries. Scanlon writes, "Christianity is not boring, but many Christians are because their interests go no further than all things churchy. If my one interest is church, then obviously I will only connect with church people, but it won't help me reach the vast majority of the planet who don't live in that world. If I only socialize with Christians, listen to Christian music, read Christian books, watch Christian television, attend a Christian school, vacation at Christian resorts, attend Christian exercise classes and go to my Christian hairdresser, then I think it's safe to say I need to get out more.

Millions of us burned our Elvis records, gave up our interests in politics, business, media, fashion, the arts, technology, entertainment and show business. We did it all for Jesus, who never asked us to give it up in the first place! We've become uncomfortable and at times dysfunctional in the worlds we left, worlds we demonized and theologized into becoming our enemies, worlds that God loves and hardwired us to flourish in. We were designed by God to prosper behind enemy lines- not for comfort, safety or retreat."

He concludes, "God made you to be interesting, so don't let the church make you boring. Don't work on developing a new personality, just work on building some bridges of interest. And before you know it, you will be in another world of potential new relationships and influence. If the great apostle Paul was willing to become "all things to all men," so can we. And whatever happens, it will be interesting!"

You can read the entire article here Are you Bored? on pages 24 & 25.

So what is written?

John 15:19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

John 17:14-15 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.

1 John 2:15- 17 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

I recently read this, by Beth Moore, "To live victoriously, every day we must learn to pour out our hearts to God, confess sin daily, acknowledge every hollow place and invite Him to fill us fully! Then we need to continue to fan the flame of His love by reading Scripture, listening to edifying music, and praying often. We also need to avoid things that obviously quench His spirit."

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 17:24 A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth.

Proverbs 23:12 Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.

I had a computer programming professor that always said "garbage in, garbage out". He was referring to the programs that we wrote, but could the same be said about our mind?

In order to become "interesting", I can watch Grey's Anatomy and make conversation with others who like that show. But, are those the images and situations that I want to put in my head? I can listen to main-stream music, but what are the messages I am I hearing? I can go to a bar with friends, with the intention of finding someone to minister to, but what am I exposing myself to, in the meantime?

I am NOT trying to condemn anyone, believe me, I have my own guilty pleasures! I am not saying any of these things are right or wrong. I think it would be easy to go off the chart- marking everything as either right or wrong. I don't believe that God calls us to hide out and limit our interactions with the world, as we cannot win others to Christ that way. So, where do we draw the line?

When we are filling our time, and ultimately our minds, do we say this is "good" or do we strive for this is "great"?

Don't Get Mad....

Last night at dinner, Mr. D said "Mom, don't get mad, get glad". I thought he was just parroting a commercial he had heard, but then it came back to me again today. Maybe there is more to it?

What is written?
Habakkuk 3:17-18 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior. Now that is trouble! It is so easy to get upset and frustrated during the day. Things don't go as I plan and it seems that I can't get past it- the anger and frustration keeps stacking up. I recently heard Beth Moore talking about trouble she said "irritations are not tribulations". I face irritations everyday! I need to work on keeping it all in perspective.

Philippians 4:4,7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Why rejoice again and again? When we are rejoicing and praising God, even in the midst of trouble, we are focusing on the good not the bad. We cannot be rejoicing and sinning at the same time. Prov 29:22 An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. And Prov 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. It is not what happens to me but how I react that really matters, so rejoice (as long as it takes)!

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. We will face trials of many kinds, but this testing is what makes us more like Christ.

So the next time there are three spills during dinner and library books and homework are ruined in the process.... I will remember "Don't get mad, get glad and rejoice!" (I hope.)