Where are you?

My heart was pounding and terrible thoughts began tormenting me. My son was missing. Minutes before, I had sent him to his room for bullying his older sister. She isn't always innocent, but this time she was minding her own business and he stepped in being mean. 

"Go to your room and come back when you are ready to be kind," I ordered. This punishment usually doesn't last long. He typically returns within moments. But after 20 minutes, I was suddenly aware of the quiet. Every mom knows that silence means trouble. 

I went searching for him and slowly opened his bedroom door in hopes that he was happily building with legos. The lights were on, but he was nowhere to be found! 

I looked in the bathroom and several other rooms with no luck. Like every good mom, I thought, “you better be ok, cause when I find you, you're in big trouble.” My mind was racing at this point and I returned to his room for a more thorough search.

Beyond the usual mess, I realized that all of the tubs had been pulled out from under his bed. I got down on all fours and saw his arm, under the bed. His bed is low to the ground and I panicked thinking he was trapped, until he snored. My precious Mr. D had decided to hide in his shame and then fell asleep under his bed.

How many times have I done something wrong and decided to hide?

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. - Genesis 3:8

Sometimes our actions and the resulted feelings can get the best of us and instead of confessing our mistakes we hide. 

There are times I catch myself in a tight spot hiding from God. I have learned that my hiding typically follows a repetitious sin. It is something that God and I have dealt with before, yet I am back, making the same mistake. 

God doesn’t want us to hide from him. He wants to make us whole. He is able! The further we run, however, the deeper we fall into trouble and even depression. 

God forgives us the moment we ask. He loves us and wants to make us whole. There may be consequences to our mistake, but there is also restoration to our relationship with God. That, my friend, is the best place to be.

Abba Father, thank you for loving me even when I am unloveable and stubborn. Please forgive me for hiding from you instead of confessing my mistakes. Thank you for your faithfulness and forgiveness. Amen.